Traditions Aren't Trending

My cousin is visiting from California. She received an email from a relative who is getting married soon. It explained that she had instructed the DJ to not play certain traditional wedding dance songs such as the Locomotion, Electric Slide or the Macarena. A Utube video was attached with a request that all wedding guests learn the particular dance and be prepared to dance in unison at the reception.

27 years ago I did much the same thing. When the band asked what songs we want played I responded, “Let me tell you what I don’t want played.” Just like when I go to our neighborhood florist to send a funeral arrangement, I tell the shop owner what I don’t want: no gladiolas, no carnations, nothing cheap or funerally looking. This is a good rule of thumb for a wedding reception too. Nothing cheap or funerally.  

It’s always fun to play both traditional and pop music at a wedding. Just for kicks I looked up the pop tunes of 1988. I’m pretty sure I would have crossed off songs like “I Hate Myself for Loving You,”  “Love Bites,”  “(Your Love is Like) Bad Medicine,” and anything by George Michael or Rick James.  I didn’t want anyone at our wedding reception singing along to “She’s a very kinky girl, the kind you don’t take home to mother.”

Just like my cousin’s niece, I did not want some of the traditional group dance songs played. Some are classics and expected at weddings. Some are recently trending and fun to get the guests out on the dance floor. The Electric Slide is pretty much the group wedding dance for dummies. I can certainly follow simple instructions such as “clap, clap clap your hands” I requested that the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance not be played at our wedding. I think they should remain in the kindergarten classroom. A funny thing happened at our wedding when the lights came on. Several guests felt cheated and performed the Hokey Pokey anyway after the band was gone. Some traditions don’t die easily.

One of the most memorable moments at a wedding reception is the bride and groom’s first dance. At least that song should be appropriate. We danced to “What a Wonderful World” I suppose every married couple loves when “their song” comes on the radio.  Another memorable, laughable moment for me is when a song is played that in my opinion, should have been crossed off the play list.  I attended a wedding when the song “Party Like a Rock Star” was popular. I can’t speak for everyone else, and I hope all the rock stars out there forgive me for stereotyping, but when I hear that song the image in my head consists of taking expensive drugs and having sex with complete strangers.  Just for kicks I looked up the song lyrics. Turns out it was much worse than I had imagined: “You know them hoes be at my show. I seen the show with Travis Barker….worried ‘bout where my chain go…white bitches want to ride me” I’m thinking “chain” is a code word. At least the lyricist showed some discretion, but the grammar is atrocious! Nevertheless, that song would not have made the cut at our reception. It’s a good thing that most of the old people at these receptions are hard of hearing. I can hear Auntie Evelyn now, “What are they riding?”

We attended a wedding where the first dance song was “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain. Most of the lyrics are beautiful. He was invited to perform the song on a talk show  (I think it was Rosie O’Donnell, I’m not going to look it up)  but I do remember the host saying “What a beautiful song. I’m not sure I understand the lyrics, but it sounds beautiful” My sentiments exactly. McCain sings ,“The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful stop me and steal my breath” Wow. Just beautiful. But then, “I’ll be love’s suicide.”  What the hell does that mean? Am I missing something, or does that sound like he’s going to be the reason love kills herself? I love listening to interviews with artists. We can “what if” all day, but unless the artist himself explains what he was thinking and writing about, some songs will just remain a mystery.

My cousin is here for a few more days. I am going to have fun helping her prepare for the upcoming reception. Currently trending, the Whip, Nae Nae looks totally doable. Guests are starting to reply to the group email. Sounds like everyone is excited to perform together. I’m wondering how the old people who don’t use email are going to get the memo.  I’m thinking even if they did, they would probably pass on the Stanky Leg.