COVID-19 Advice from a Cat

Meow. My name is Grace. I was adopted by the Sinclair family 5 ½ years ago. I had pneumonia and my eyes were swollen shut. I was put in quarantine for what seemed like forever as to not infect the other four leggeds in the house. I had food, water and a litter box- everything I needed. My only option was to just settle in and ride it out. Statistically, an indoor cat lives three times longer than a cat who wanders outside anyway.

Tip #1: It’s safer indoors.

I hope when your two leggeds go back to normal it is a NEW normal. Keep the hugging and kissing to immediate family. Hand shaking is superfluous. When greeting someone do what I do: merely nod and slowly close your eyes. That is acknowledgement enough.

Tip #2: Keep social distance.

If someone gets in your personal space, take a swipe at them and dig your nails into their flesh. Wait, that might put you at risk. Keep your distance, hiss, and let your countenance say “back the f*** up.”

Tip #3: Stay active and eat only when you’re hungry.

Sometimes I just jump up and run into another room for no reason. Try to move around. Binge watching Netflix and posting snarky political comments on facebook is not healthy. My human bought a bag of cat food that will surely last a month. Do you see me digging in it just ‘cause I’m bored? If you stocked up on nonperishables like pasta, peanut M&Ms and canned pinto beans like my humans, you can bet you will have a spot on the new off shoot show by the producers of The Biggest Loser. I heard it’s called The Biggest Gainer: COVID-19 edition.

In summary, heed my little tips for getting through this pandemic. I’ve been looking out the window for over 5 years now. The view can be stellar. You can do this. Stay the f*** home. Granted, my human rations my food so it’s easier for me, but don’t be a glutton just because you can. When this thing blows over I hope you learned a thing or two. It’s ok to not be busy. Naps are splendid. Cuddle more with your family. Commit to spending more time with your four leggeds. You see how happy we are when you come home. You are our world. We need you in THIS world.