Stay the F*** Home

Amid this COVID-19 pandemic for some reason I have been thinking about pregnancy lately. I have never been good at delaying gratification, and it didn’t dawn on me until after my two kids were born that we women were all lied to. Do the math. 40 weeks pregnant is TEN months, not nine. Had I known that, I might now be childless. The last month was complete torture.

It’s been 2 days, 12 hours and 17 minutes since Gretchen filed an executive order in the state of Michigan to shelter-in-place. For a period of three weeks nonessential businesses were ordered to close. Parks, gyms and community centers are closed. Residents were told to stay home. I can’t help but wonder if we are being lied to. I hope to God it is only three weeks. I wish our Governor had said two. At the end of two had she said, “Hey, sorry, we are gonna need to do this for one more week.” I would have been more enthusiastic when I told my family, “We can do this!”

I am confident in our state’s ability to follow the rules and slow this thing down. I’m certainly following the rules. I am taking the rules literally while also using my own common sense AND moral compass. When my husband suggested ordering carry out meals to support the mom and pop restaurants I immediately visualized the cook sneezing on my food. He has to go to work if he wants a paycheck. His place of work is considered an essential service.

In my boredom I considered resorting to retail therapy online. Trucking is certainly an essential service. Fed Ex, UPS and Amazon Prime have been up and down my street like bats out of hell. My conscience asked me that although this is available to me now, would I be contributing to compromising the worker at the Chewey.com warehouse as well as the truck driver because I want to cheer up my cats with yet another 6 foot cat tower?

I understand the orders allow essential businesses to remain open like drive through banking, pharmacies, grocery stores and hardware stores. Thankfully liquor stores made the cut. We have a little leeway to cheat if we choose. Good news! Traffic is light. Parking is a snap. The big box stores also carry nonessentials. I saw a post on one nosy neighbor group I belong to asking, “Has anyone been to Costco this morning? I’m not out of anything, but I’m certainly not gonna go if it is a zoo” WTF? Here’s a thought: if you are going to go out for a nonessential because you don’t think this COVID-19 is a big deal or that you are going stir crazy in your house, don’t post it on social media! Another post noted that the line to get into Costco before the store opened was wrapped around the building and there was no social distance between the customers who were all waiting to get in for the special senior citizen only hour! Posted by a senior who actually stayed in line and shopped when the store opened.

I guess if your only toilet blew up you would need to take a trip to Home Depot, however, you know damn well there are people out there who just wanted to take their dog on an outing and maybe pick up some supplies to do a home improvement since we are ordered to stay home anyway.

My friend said she is looking into an online law school to become a divorce attorney. Mark my words, the demand will be high in the near future. We are hangin’ in there at my house.  I’m cleaning and organizing. I’m a little peeved that I can’t get my donations out of my house right f***ing now. This is truly a mind game for all of us. Normally we complain about how busy our life is. We don’t have time to keep the house cleaned and maintained. Welp, a lack of time apparently wasn’t the reason.

As for me, I think one of the main reasons I haven’t lost my shit yet is that for some time now I’ve kept a gratitude journal. I’m sure religious people will think this is obvious and I’m a simpleton, but religious or not, now is a good time to focus on gratitude. Many mornings my gratitude list is elementary. I truly am grateful for the little things like running water, a warm house, a pretty pottery mug full of hot coffee or a kitty on my lap. If you are struggling with our order to shelter-in-place, I urge you to start a gratitude journal. This week I am grateful for some really big things. I am grateful that I currently do not know anyone who has been tested positive. In the coming weeks that may not be so. I am grateful that my family is able to work from home and keep their jobs. I am grateful that I had extra money to help stock an empty shelf at a local food bank. 

I am hopeful that when this is all said and done, each and every one of us will reevaluate how we live our life, spend our money and treat our fellow two leggeds. Remember to be mindful of our four leggeds also. They are having adjustment issues as well. Next blog, I will be writing through the eyes of one of my four leggeds. Stay well everyone, and stay the f*** home!